By Lorraine Glass, Director, respectme – Scotland’s Anti-Bullying Service

“I don’t make it my business to strike terror into the hearts of children – after all, it somewhat goes against the brief! …however I recall exactly the moment that I did just that, and wanted to share it with you.

Almost a decade ago (scary in itself!), I was invited to join a P7 class who had been working on online safety and I was there to listen and learn as well as offer some insights.  I was put into a group with six boys who all had smartphones laid out on their desks and all the cheek, charm and gallusness you would expect from streetwise Glaswegian 11 year olds – I had certainly met my match that day!

As they warmed to the theme, and despite being slightly bewildered as to why this old (relatively!) woman was in their class, there was enough trust built for the boys to start to gently tease their classmate, Ryan, who seemed really popular and was likely their ‘leader’.  It transpired that Ryan had been enjoying some flirty online chat with ‘Chantelle’, largely innocent kids’ stuff back then.  Ryan was full of bravado, enjoying his group’s adulation and was further emboldened by my curiosity, which played out against a background of pre-teen sniggering:

Me:      ‘So what’s Chantelle like?  Does she go to school here?’

Ryan:  ‘She’s 13 and has blonde hair.  No, she doesn’t live round here.’

Me:      ‘So have you met her in real life?’

Ryan:  ‘No, but we talk a lot and she’s sent me her photo – and I’ve sent her mine!

Me: (after many other questions, summarising) ‘Right, so you’ve never actually met her and you don’t know an awful lot about her…  What if it turned out that I was Chantelle?

Ryan:  Silence.  Look of absolute shock, horror and disbelief.  His pals dumbstruck.  Tumbleweed.  He quickly recovered and retorted ‘Aye, but you wouldn’t know our chat, the way we talk, the emojis and all that – do you even have an iPhone?!’ (I loved that challenge!)

Me:  Don’t you think that if I wanted to draw you into a chat that I would have learned all that stuff to make sure you didn’t suss me out?  I could pick up on emojis and abbreviations easy peasy!  See, that’s the thing about being online, you can’t always trust that people are who they say they are – teaching moment right there, from a non-teacher!  Anyway, it’s ok, I’m not Chantelle …but I could have been, or it could have been someone even dodgier, with suspect motives, so be careful with trust when online.  And yes, I do have an iPhone! … (although it was my first ever and I was barely coping with the transition from my trusty Motorola flip!)

Fast forward to 2024.  Those P7s will be 21 now and have been exposed to smart technology for half of their lives.  It feels hard to believe that Snapchat and Instagram were already launched by then, Facebook was fading and only for ‘old’ people over 25 (!), and TikTok was yet to arrive.

In the digital world now, online bullying, or cyberbullying, is a significant concern affecting children and young people in Scotland. This form of bullying involves digital technologies, such as social media, messaging platforms, gaming forums, and mobile devices used to intimidate, isolate or humiliate individuals.

Online bullying should always be considered in context as a feature of the relationships involved and powerful emotions evoked, and not merely as a technological issue to be resolved.

Bullying is bullying – ‘online’ is geography.  Online bullying is related to where the bullying occurs, rather than as a different type of behaviour.  Many common bullying behaviours such as spreading rumours, exclusion from group dynamics, and making threats can occur in both online and offline spaces.   However, technology has increased the complexity and reach of bullying through non-consensual image sharing, video footage, photo editing, transient messaging, and fake accounts, creating a new global environment that demands careful, informed, and nuanced handling.  Some behaviours, when conducted online, may constitute criminal offences, which many young people are completely unaware of – with serious reputational consequences that can impact future travel, further education and employment.

It is still the case, however counter-intuitive it feels, that children and young people are more likely to report having been bullied in-person/face to face at school than online.  Nonetheless, the landscape of online bullying has evolved significantly for children and young people due to increased screen time, the emergence of new social media platforms, and the growth of online gaming and virtual communities. Anonymous content creators and content that automatically disappears can make bullying harder to detect, whilst the pandemic intensified the volume of online interactions and the associated risks.

Despite highly improved digital literacy, cyber-resilience and internet safety awareness amongst young people, the often concealed complexity of online spaces demands heightened adult vigilance and robust safeguarding measures.

Online bullying can happen anywhere at any time, be shared to wider groups in a ‘pile-on’, and be constantly refreshed, making it more pervasive and harder to find respite from than other forms of bullying.  Unwelcome filming and covert photography can make typical places of safety, like school, feel less safe and add a weight of pressure on young people, which adults can often underestimate the significance of.   What happens online matters, and we ignore that at our peril.  

Highly functioning sophisticated technology is placed in the novice hands of young, unsophisticated users, with inappropriate content to their developmental stage matched to assumptions and expectations that they will somehow be able, by osmosis, to understand how to navigate healthy social relationships, stay safe, keep out of trouble and be mindful of sleep hygiene.  All of this whilst largely unsupervised, open to global influences and with few, if any, limits in place.  Young minds need help to cope well with this uncharted territory.

Historic respectme campaigns, probably ahead of their time, have always urged adults to ‘Connect, don’t Disconnect’ from their young people, to recognise that when children go online ‘they’re still going somewhere…’ and to be as curious and interested about the importance of their online lives to them, as most would be about their offline ‘real’ lives.  The World Wide Web can be a wonderful place to go for a virtual wander – the challenge for young people is not to go off-track.  Please join us in keeping these conversations alive and, who knows, I might yet be reunited with Ryan and Chantelle on TikTok!

For more information visit www.respectme.org.uk

You can find more information in our Online Bullying resource.